top of page

When Life Throws You Curveballs A Swim Buddy Is Your Safety Net & Sanity Check

Updated: Dec 14, 2022


We all need a swim buddy.

I'll get to that here in a moment.

But, before we dive in, let's rewind...

There are zillions of books about leadership.

Some involve the battlefield, some the boardroom, but this one stands out.

Brian "Iron Ed" Hiner takes a different look at what really "works" in terms of leadership; not what's supposed to work, or what you think should work, but simply what works.

And that's what makes this book so refreshing.

He has nailed what it takes to lead in VUCA situations, which is today’s environment.

If you want to lead an organization that has a strong sense of mission and esprit de corps, read "First, Fast, Fearless: How to Lead Like a Navy SEAL."

Your employees may never be cold, wet, and uncomfortable in the work setting, but this book should be on the reading list of every business leader.

It covers several concepts used by Navy SEALs that you can apply to your business.

If you're too busy to read the whole piece, here's the TL;DR:


  1. Default aggressive towards solving problems: Don’t leave things up to chance, develop a bias for action coupled with rapid decision-making. 9 times out of 10, when you don't take action and things are going bad, things aren't going to get better, they're going to get worse. Does it mean you get aggressive towards your people? No, it doesn't mean that at all. It means when there's something happening, especially a problem, that problem is not going to solve itself. You have to go solve the problem.

  2. Leaders eat last: No special privileges for leaders. You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. First, take care of your people, and then you can think of yourself. You need to understand that you are on stage 24/7. And guess what? Everyone is watching.

  3. Rule Bending: Be mission-driven and surround yourself with people who push the boundaries just a bit. Raise innovative rule benders, not rule breakers.

  4. Team First/Working Backward: The army believes the motto “Mission First, People Always” is the right balance to get the job done while also taking care of its soldiers. Anytime one of those becomes more important than the other, you will produce lousy results. Start by taking care of the largest element, working our way to the smallest element - the individual.

  5. Inside/Outside the perimeter: It is your responsibility as a leader to keep fighting, conflict and toxic individuals outside of the team. Accept that you won't be able to change toxic people.

  6. As a leader, you still follow: Follow those in the know and those with the right experience – in spite of your position or title.

  7. Let your people be winners: When you are dealing with problems, allow your team to find the solution and go with their plan when it makes sense. Give them guidance, but let them decide and be in control as much as possible so they can have ownership.

  8. Dissent behind closed doors while making a decision is OK. However, once the decision is made, do not complain about it.

  9. BLUF- Bottom Line Up Front: Keep your communication clear and concise. Write like Winston Churchill, put the most important details first when preparing emails, reports or presentations.

  10. Leader’s Intent: When delegating, share three things: (a) purpose, key tasks, and end state (b) appropriate guidance (c) priorities

  11. Debrief: Once you finish the task, meet and answer: (a) What were we trying to accomplish? (b) Where did we hit or miss our objective? (c) What was the root cause of our result? (d) As a team, what should we stop, start or continue doing?

  12. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast: I love this phrase. It’s a reminder that the best way to move fast in a professional setting is to take your time, slow down, and do the job right. Start with a deep breath. Take another. Consider your options. And then move. Slow, smooth, fast.

We can't become great on our own.

We all need people in our lives who raise our standards, remind us of our essential purpose and challenge us to become the best version of ourselves.

Age-old wisdom counsels us to "Choose your company wisely."

SEALs hardly ever work alone.

In walks a "swim buddy.”

Which, is where I began this piece...

From the very beginning, each SEAL trainee is paired up with a partner, called a “swim buddy.”

The reason that trainees are assigned a swim buddy is because instructors know that SEALs would be unprotected and vulnerable if they were ever caught alone in an operation.

But, if SEALs create the habit of working in pairs, they will always be better protected and more likely to succeed in the task.

Two swim pairs form a fire team, two fire teams form a squad and two squads form a platoon.

“Two is one and one is none” is the rule, which applies to everything in the army.

As you go through tasks of the BUD/S training, you have your swim buddy always within an arm's length of you.

You stick together for good or bad.

Having a swim buddy is not a one way street.

Your swim buddy is not your lifeguard: he’s your partner.

If he fails, you fail, if you fail, he fails as well.

By the end of the 6-month training you can finish each others’ sentences and, though you get sick of each other, you know you can count on each other.

A swim buddy is supposed to be not only the individual who supports you and validates your thinking, but also challenges you.

All the time.

That's the most critical component.

You have to have people around you that are looking out for those weaknesses of yours, and are willing to call you out on it and say:

Hey, man, you are letting up on the gas when you actually need to be stomping down harder.


“This is where you first understand the concept of a swim buddy, which in SEAL ethos is an absolutely gigantic deal. You work with your buddy as a team. You never separate...If one of you falls over the side into the freezing ocean, the other joins him. Immediately. In the pool, you are never more than an arm’s length away. Later on, in the BUD/S course proper, you can be failed out of hand, thrown out, for not staying close enough to your swim buddy. This all comes back to that ironclad SEAL folklore — we never leave a man behind on the battlefield, dead or alive. No man is ever alone.” - Marcus Luttrell, The Lone Survivor

The principle of the swim buddy applies 100% to civilian life.

A swim buddy can be a close friend, spouse, or even a sibling who has been there for you during difficult times.

It is someone who holds you accountable and makes sure you are heading in the right direction.

It is not your yes-man, though.

On contrary, it is someone you can trust enough to make sure they will be there to tell you the truth and let you know that you screwed up.

When you come up with a plan and you’ve got a bunch of yes-men they are like: ’Sounds great boss.’

What you really want them to do is get out daggers and try to stab the plan and poke holes in it.

As Mark Sanborn says: "In teamwork, silence isn’t golden, it’s deadly."

A swim buddy is a sounding board during a crisis or life-changing event.

When you call your swim buddy, they will answer the phone.


"The three guiding principles in which I lived my life; take risk, take Action and take a swim buddy." - Retired Commander John R Hoyt, U.S. Navy Seal

You are who you hang out with.

Your friends, family, and coworkers - all form a current around you, and if that current isn’t heading in the direction you want to go, you’re going to find yourself stagnant or floating in the wrong direction.

That’s why it’s so important to choose a swim buddy who shares your goals and watches your back.

Finding a swim buddy is hard.

Being one is even harder.

Take a look around you.

There is no shame in asking for help when you need it, and there is a lot of positive that comes out of being there for somebody else.

Who has your back?


P.S. Like what you’re reading here? Well, you have three choices really.

1. Get more stories straight to your inbox. Subscribe in the page footer below.

3. When you are ready to level up, hire me.

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page