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Clarity Is Not Just Who You Are But Also Who You’re Not

Updated: Dec 14, 2022


Every day you make decisions that define who you are and what you believe in.

The choices you face may seem insignificant but that doesn't mean they're not important.

Even the smallest action can have a huge impact on your integrity and reputation.

You do not wake up one morning a bad person.

It happens by a thousand tiny surrenders of self-respect to self-interest.

Robert Brault is right.

When you’re not clear on who you're trying to be, you can’t refer to this self-definition and make the right decisions without hesitation.

If you look at those who have been successful, they have always planted a flag in the ground and said this is who I am, this is what I do and what I want to stand for.

Clarity helps you confidently respond to difficult choices and boldly shake them off when a wrong shortcut to success tempts you.

When you define who you are, it’s a lot easier to say ‘no’.

In fact, your clarity comes down to what you say no to more than you say yes to.

In the mind-boggling book Iconic by Scott McKain, there’s this passage that jumped out at me.

It challenges, stretches, and re-frames the traditional thinking.

The trick is, you have to figure out what your “breaking point” is.


Scott McKain is typing now:


A friend—author and hall of fame speaker, Larry Winget frequently talks about the importance of respect.

He inspired me to make a list of the seven disrespectful behaviors that I won’t tolerate.

Your list may be different—here’s mine:

1. Dishonesty. If I know you’ll lie to me, what can you say or do that I can possibly believe?

2. Disloyalty. A variation of dishonesty. It’s a betrayal of the trust that I’ve placed in someone.

3. Apathy. If we actively disagree, that’s fine. It’s hard to respect someone who just doesn’t give a damn about anything.

4. Stratification. This is someone who respects people differently. They may be courteous to a colleague and mean to a waiter. You know the type—someone who will kiss up to the boss and kick anyone below them on the org chart. Disgusting.

5. Selfishness. It’s not all about you—and it’s certainly not all about me. If you can’t recognize that, I don’t want me to be around you.

6. Inequality. If you think that your gender is better, your race is preferred, and there are people lesser than you, we’re done.

7. Totalism. That’s the word I use to describe people who think their side is totally right—and those with other viewpoints are totally wrong.


You can’t control how people act, but you can control what you accept from them.

What if your business made its own list of seven disrespectful behaviours that you won’t tolerate?

How would that shape the behaviour of your team and your customers?


P.S.1 Here’s my personal addition to the list.

8. My time is more important than my money.

One of the clearest ways to show that you respect me is to respect my time.

P.S.2 Like what you’re reading here? Well, you have three choices really.

1. Get more stories straight to your inbox. Subscribe in the page footer below.

3. When you are ready to level up, hire me.

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